"March to the Beat of My Own Drum" Regimen

The internet, being my main source of information for everything I do, is a blessing, but it can also be a curse! If I have a slight fever and headache, I often find myself visiting Dr. Google and suddenly I could be dying of meningitis. Once I was really sick and went to the emergency room with a print out of my diagnosis in hand!! Shaking my head at myself, just thinking about it!

Since I started my hair journey, I've found there is a plethora of information on methods on how to care for naturally curly hair. Today, I've reached my point of exhaustion! I'm sick of treating my hair as if it is a universal mystery that requires laborious hours of research and sometimes chemistry experiments! Most of the information I find out there are from people who have put in a lot time and effort. However, there is so much conflicting information that sometimes I just don't know what to follow! I've tried so many products and changed my regimen a million times. I've tried the no Poo and Curly Girl Method and these made my hair feel dirty, oily and weighed down. I've tried eliminating cones, but my hair loves them so I'm welcoming them back into my routine. I've tried sealing with shea butter, castor and coconut oil-- horrible end results! I'm also a true believer that an avocado in my stomach does 100x more for my hair than an avocado on my head. If I wash my hair with water everyday but don't drink enough water, my hair would suffer, thus it's what goes into your body that creates a healthy head of hair.

So today, I've decided to go back to a routine I used prior to transitioning. I will try it out for 1 month to see how my hair responds and report back towards the end of January with results.

This was my routine I used when I relaxed my hair every 3 months. My hair was full and healthy and responded well to this routine.

*1 x week: shampoo (I will use a non-sulfate shampoo)

*every other week: light protein treatment Update: only when necessary... have noticed that the front of my hair loves protein, while the back turns into a dry, tangled mess. So I'm going to back away from the protein for a while.

*1 - per week:  deep conditioner (winter: moisturizing conditioner, jojoba or olive oil + heat) (summer: moisturizing conditioner, jojoba or olive oil + honey + heat)

*every other day: co-wash, every day: wet/mist for styling

*use a leave-in conditioner, moisturize with a small amount of light oil (my hair doesn't seem to like heavy oils), and style with a small amount of gel

If this works, for my natural hair, then I've found my regimen, if not try and try until I succeed!

Peace & Love,

Annabel

Change of Mind

I'm over 8 months into my transition!! As I approach my one year mark, I'm really excited for all the future holds. Not just for hair, I'm not THAT obsessed. I've been doing some side projects lately and getting back into some things I used to enjoy a lot, but somehow stopped doing. I don't know why, but around the end of every year, I get energized and motivated to take on more and learn new things. Although I hate the cold, I love how winter forces us to become more intimate and reflect more on life (or is that just me).

Speaking of winter, I've let the bun into my life and am kind of loving it (shh don't tell anyone)! I noticed that braidouts were starting to pull my hair out, the constant rebraiding routine at night, was just not doing me any good. For the moment I am wearing my hair in a bun during the week and switching it up with my flexirod set sometimes. I'll see at the end of the year if I have achieved more growth, but I can say for sure that my hair feels healthier since I've eliminated braidouts. Once I'm all natural I'll try my hands at it again, but for the time being my transitioning hair just couldn't handle it! To make the style a little more playful, I've been wearing cute headbands and also wearing a high messy bun. I even received compliments from the husband, who wasn't super crazy about buns (or any updo for that matter) before (guess he's transitioning too)!

On another note, I took a huge decision last weekend! [Drum ROLL]...

I gave my stock of relaxers to my former Dominican Salon!! Yes, the creamy crack is officially out of my life! On Saturday, after my Zumba class, I stopped by and asked if the salon owner had any use for them and she was thrilled to take it off my hands. She was really shocked that I decided to stop and wished me luck. It felt genuinely heartfelt and not like "good luck, you're gonna need it sistah!" I have to admit, I went through withdrawals after leaving the salon. That day her hair looked pretty amazing, so shiny and bouncy! But then it dawned on me, I felt pretty damn good all sweaty and glowing after my work out. And you know what felt even better? The fact that I could go home and wash my sweaty scalp, just like that and not worry about ruining my perm. Later that day I went on Curly Nikki and read some inspiring transition stories, which reinforced my belief that this decision is for the best. This is starting to sound like a bad break up "Affirm relaxer, it's not me, it's you. This is really for the best, we've experienced 18 eventful years together and that's something we can both look back on and smile about. I just really need to be on my own for now-- and by that I mean forever, no hard feelings."

XOXO

Annabel

P. S. - At the end of this month, I'll be posting new growth comparison shots.

Protective styles. Do I have to?

I am almost 8 months post-relaxer. The date of my transition chop (TC) keeps changing from 1.5 years to 1 year. There are days like today, where detangling is a breeze and my comb just glides through my hair. And then there are days when I can barely pull a comb through my hair. This yo-yoing causes me to frequently change my TC date. As of today, my TC date is on March 5th, which is 1 year after the start of my transition.

I really want to have more length before I chop, partly due to the fact that I'm afraid of hating my hair short and curly. Tiny cropped fros are cute and look wonderful on many people, but I'm not sure if it will suit me. I'd hate to chop off myhair at and not love it, without any solution. I'm not a fan of weaves or extensions, so that wouldn't be an option. My hair is growing and I'm trying to do everything I can to keep it healthy, so it grows to its full potential. I'm eating healthy, exercising, deep conditioning and using natural oils. I've reduced my use of direct heat. The first time I used a flat-iron was last week and I hadn't used it for 3 months prior to that. However, there is one thing I am not doing a lot of and that's protective styling. 

Protective styling, often referred to as, a low manipulation styling technique (e.g. bun) that keeps the ends of the hair tucked away for an extended period of time. I really dislike my hair in buns, particularly in its current state. I have really thick new growth and my relaxed ends are thin. Add that to the fact that my hair is all different lengths! Whenever I put my hair up it just looks odd! Typically, I prefer a braid out or roller set as I enjoy wearing my hair down. I've read that protective styling is a must for length retention. However, I just really don't want to wear a style that I don't like.... So that's my dilemma, protective styling, do I have to? According to many, who have transitioned to natural hair--- yes!

I want to have really healthy hair, so if this is what it takes I am willing to try. So until the end of October, I will enjoy letting my hair down and starting next month I will challenge myself to do protective styling for 30 days to see if it really makes a difference. If by the end of November, I notice healthier, moisturized hair, particularly, my ends, I will do more protective styles. The only problem, I am not very talented when it comes to styling, so the only protective style I know of is the dreaded BUN. I'm not really a fan of buns, always thought I looked so matronly when I wore them! However, it seems like this is the only way, so I'll have to just deal with it for a little while. Guess, I'll go out and buy some cute headbands to make it a little more playful!

Peace & Love!

Just think my head looks odd when I sport a bun.

5 Month Post Update

I'm happy to say that I'm more than 5 months post-relaxer and my hair has recovered nicely from my recent protein overdose. It feels soft and moisturized and is no longer a frizzy nightmare!

 I will probably do a protein treatment again towards the middle of this month, but only if my hair feels prone to breakage. On another positive note, the conditioner and shampoo I purchased a few weeks back are working wonderfully. I was worried when I saw alcohol under the list of conditioner ingredients, but it turns out the specific alcohol, cetearyl has good properties for curly hair. I stumbled across this website, which apparently from the fan base is HUGE in the curly hair community: http://tightlycurly.com/Ingredients.aspx. This is what the Tight Curly Method founder, Teri says about cetearyl alcohol:

"Used as an emollient, emulsifier, conditioner, and thickener. Not the same as SD alcohol or ethanol. This is actually a mixture of Cetyl Alcohol and Stearyl Alcohol [Hunting (Conditioning) pg 142]. This is one of the ingredients I like to see near the top of a conditioner's ingredient list. When left in very curly hair it adds needed weight without being greasy."

I've always been a product junky, but would like to find my staple products (keep my money in my bank account, where it belongs). My new rules of thumbs are:

1. To use the products I have and buy new ones when those run out. I can always add essential oils to a shampoo or conditioner to increase its moisturizing properties.

2. Never have more than 2 of a product (shampoo, conditioner, protein treatment, etc.). I always like to try different things, however if I switch up products too much, I'll never know what works right for me. Not to mention, I'll stop invading my husband's "half" of the cabinet.

3. Experiment with items already in my home such as olive oil, which I added to my cheap conditioner last month and this worked wonders*!

Wonders meaning, my hair felt moisturized and detangling wasn't as horrible as usual, however it is still a task to detangle transitioning hair--- requires A LOT of patience!!

Proof of my product addiction:

Products from my drawer

Products from my medicine cabinet

I'm thankful everyday that I finally decided to stop relaxing my hair and transition! I only wished I had done so sooner. If anyone is reading this and contemplating going natural (big chop or transition), I would highly recommend it. It took me so long to realize how beautiful natural hair is, I feel bad that I've suppressed my curls, coils and kinks all of these years. 

I have also set a new heat goal for myself. In one of my entries I wrote that I flat iron my hair once every month. I don't want to incur damage when my hair is all natural, so I would like to reduce my use of heat. I've read horror stories about people experiencing irreversible damage to their curl pattern due to heat styling tools. My current goal is to flat iron my hair every other month (i.e. 6 times per year). I will use other styling methods such as protective styles and roller sets. When I do flat iron, I am going to try to let my hair air dry the day before and reduce the heat setting on my flat iron.

Tomorrow night, I'll try a homemade honey treatment that I've concocted and a new detangling method....will report results later!

Peace & Love

Natural Coverage on NPR

Along this journey there have been moments where I've questioned my decision to go natural. It seems the universe keeps sending me messages when I start to doubt.

My husband has been very supportive during my transition.  He loves the texture and pattern of my new coils and tells me if I decide to just chop my relaxed ends, it would look really cool (I'm still not there emotionally, I just like to have the length). His excitement, even though he jokingly pokes fun at me when he catches me looking at my new growth before going to bed, has really provided me with a lot of motivation.

The other day, I met up with a good friend that I hadn't seen in quite some time. I was sporting a braid out and when she saw me the first thing she said was, your hair looks amazing, I love what you've done with it. I explained that I was transitioning and growing out my relaxed hair. She began to excitedly ask if I'd have big curly hair and whether I could style it in a fro sometimes, because she (fine, wavy haired, Irish girl) has always been envious of people with hair that can be styled like that. I've never received such compliments when I relaxed my hair, so am definitely enjoying all of the positivity!

My mother in-law, can't stop touching my hair each time I see her, she always manages to find a way to greet me and touch my hair at the same time.

Healthy hair is also a question of life style, so I'm nourishing it by drinking lots of water, eating really healthy and exercising. In conclusion my hair is feeling the love! Some days are more difficult than others and my braid out or low manipulation styling attempts don't always turn out as I please, but bad hair days are part of life, that's true for every woman.

Speaking of signs from the universe, today I stumbled across this interview while reading the news on NPR. Robin Young discusses Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair, the increasing communities of natural hair bloggers/vloggers and interviews blogger Maeling Tapp of naturalchica.com. Maeling has been natural 2 years and her hair is so full and GORGEOUS (check out the pic). It's so wonderful to see natural hair being embraced and talked about positively in the media. I've included the link to the interview below:

Natural Hair on NPR

Peace & Love

P.S. - The shampoo I purchased last week is very mild, which works wonders for retaining moisture. The conditioner on the other hand, I'm not too crazy about. It's quite drying, probably due to the fact that one of the main ingredients is alcohol. I promise to take my time and carefully read through the ingredients on my next purchase. In the meantime, I recently pre-pooed with a mixture of argan, almond, caster, coconut oils, this did help counteract the drying of the new conditioner. The conditioner apparently contains shea butter and honey, both of which I have.... perhaps it's time for me to make my own conditioner with those ingredients. Why can't hair companies practice what they preach/promise!

Hairiphany = Hair Epiphany?

Many people say we're a reflection of our genes and environment...Well my hair, genetically inherited from my parents and chemically altered by my stylists, has definitely played a role in my development.  As exaggerated as it may sound, it’s likely true. I have had my hair relaxed, pressed, and hot combed, or quoting my southern Mother “fried, died, flipped to the side”, since childhood. As a result, I know only from pictures, what my “true” hair looks like but have no memories of its texture or curl pattern. I only know my Mom used to complain “giiirl it took me hours to wash and press your hair when you were a child, you had enough hair for you and me both and then some!” 

As I sit here today, writing my first entry I paused a couple of times to touch the little curls that are sprouting like newly planted herbs underneath all of my relaxed hair. I can’t help but imagine what my hair would look like without the relaxed strands. 

Currently, I am 3 months post-relaxer and decided about a month and half ago to transition and rock my natural texture. This great epiphany all came about one cloudy morning.

My husband and I had plans to meet friends in the city in the afternoon. I was home getting ready to shower and wash my hair. I saw the sky was gray and threatening and so decided just to wash, scrunch and go—no need wasting time with the flat-iron when the fruits of my labor would be ruined by rain, right?!

My husband and I dressed and as we left the apartment, it started to pour. The combination of the cool, humidity and rain definitely increased the volume and poofiness of my hair! I’ll admit, I wasn’t feeling too hot. I stared at my husband; he’s European and has naturally tousled waves that can never look bad. Our previous neighbor, who was about 60, once told him “women would kill to have your hair.” I stared around at the people on the tram, mostly European as well and just wished for one day that I could switch hair with them. 

Later in the afternoon, the skies cleared a bit and we decided to all go for a stroll in the park. As our friends strolled ahead, my husband leans downs and whispers in my ear “I’m so lucky, I have the hottest wife in the world.” [*Gushes*--He’s a bit of a hopeless romantic, so I get showered with affection quite often].  Well I was already feeling self-conscious, so I looked up at him as if he had two heads and asked “have you seen my hair today, not so hot.” The husband tells me “no actually, I was just going to tell you that your hair like that makes you irresistible.” Well, that shut me up and kind of got me to thinking, first thought wow, I adore this man and then second well if he likes this, how would he react my hair was natural…

That’s when I had my big hairiphany – TIME FOR ME TO GO NATURAL. This is one of the scariest thoughts I’ve had in a while; I mean kind of life-changing… not in a negative way, just different. I didn’t know where to begin, after 18 years of relaxing and trips to the salon, I had so many thoughts and questions racing through my mind—one of those questions surrounded the method of going natural. 

When I arrived home that night, I immediately started googling and searching on YouTube for images and videos on the topic. I knew what my options were already (big chop or BC, transition, sew-ins, wigs), but needed to visualize it all. Upon days and days of deliberation I decided, I am a fan of neither weaves nor wigs. Since, I spent the last 2 years growing my hair out, I did not want to do the BC, because I started to like myself with longer hair. So ladies and gentleman, transition it is, or as I like to say journey from the straight road, to the winding roads less traveled. 

On this journey, I will also reflect on my current life abroad, marriage, and future dreams as well as my past to figure how my hair has shaped—well yeah, my identity, for better or worst. I’ll try to include some styling tips and treatment that I use along the way and pictures when possible. There will probably be moments where I run to my basement and grab my emergency relaxer kits and think about going back to it--- however, I’ll try to be brave and not succumb to-- as someone in Chris Rock’s Good Hair put it “the creamy crack.” I know that when I have reached a safe place, I'll be ready recycle the relaxer kits, but for now they are my security blankets.